I was fixing a tubelight, okay? No fat jokes please.
So there I was, standing on the edge of an old dining table chair when the two front legs suddenly gave out beneath me, folding inwards. So I didn’t fall with a CRASH-DASH-BANG, but descended slowly, hyper-aware that I was falling. Having time to adjust, I leant forward, as though I was surfing, and I think that’s what gave me the giant red weal on my tummy – chairs aren’t very comfy railings.
I have long scrapes on my arms (very minor), and a small gash on my left leg, but I feel like I just came from war. Adrenaline pumping from the impact, impending bruises, but I feel more alive. Fucking awesome.
I guess that just tells you how uneventful my life normally is. I wish I was John Watson. Lucky bloke.